Is It Worth It?
by BrightSide of Nowhere
Summary: They were friends who knew what they needed. Their friendship meant everything and it was the most important thing in their lives. But one of them finds herself in love with someone else. She must decide if love if worth losing friends. DMHG starts chp. 3
1. The Pact

Title: Is It Worth It?

Summary: They were friends who knew what they needed. And they needed each other. Their friendship meant everything and it was the most important thing in their lives. But one of them finds herself in love with someone else, someone not accept by the others. And she must decide, is love worth losing friendship. Rated M for scenes to come.

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all that is Harry Potter. I just play with them.

Chapter One- The Pact

They met that one faithful day on the train and they were instantly the best of friends. It would take years before they knew what they would mean to each other. Friendship was the only thing that kept them sane. So another faithful day came, as they sat around the fire in their sixth year of school, and contemplated everything that could happen in the future. Silently they each stared at the fire, hand in hand, and didn't dare to move. After minutes of staring into the fire, Hermione spoke up. She sat in between Ron and Harry, her hands intertwined with theirs. "I want it to be simple."

"Nothing is simple anymore Hermione." Harry said with a sigh.

Ron turned to look at Hermione and Harry. "We have each other, that simple enough for you?"

"No Ron, it's not." Harry turned to look at her with wide eyes. "I say we make a pact."

"What kind of pact?" Harry asked her, smiling at the sparkle that Hermione had in her eyes.

Hermione stood up, taking the two boys with her. They formed a circle, each hand intertwined with another. They seemed to glow in the light of the fire and Hermione's eyes sparkled. "I say that we make a pact to always be friends, no matter what. And we should have rules. We should always be honest, even if it's going to be painful. We should never do something that would hurt another. And we should always be able to talk to each other, to tell each other anything."

Ron smiled. "I agree."

"Me too," Harry said

"Sealed with a hug?" Hermione said with a laugh and they all came together in a group hug.


	2. It Happened Without Warning

Chapter Two- It happened without warning

Hermione let her head fall back as she laughed her whole body shaking as she fought to breathe through the laughter. "I don't believe you." She said breathlessly.

Harry smiled. "Believe it Hermione. He fell right down the stairs, after lecturing me about how to be more graceful. It was classic."

Ron sat there sulking, refusing to even look up at the two friends as they laughed at his plight. "Enough. Remember the pact; we'd never do anything to hurt another person."

"Don't go there Ron," Hermione said with a stern look. "The pact isn't meant to be used to stop us from laughing at something you would laugh at too. You both know that I meant we would never do anything to physically or seriously emotionally hurt another. Your pride will heal Ron. Those bruises just might take longer." She said, Harry and her busting into laughter.

Ron stood up, wincing slightly, and stomped away. "Not funny," he mumbled again.

Harry watched him go and then turned to Hermione. She had once again settled down, turning her focus onto her homework. Once, not so long ago, Harry had felt an attraction to her. It was gone now but sometimes he saw her for what she was, instead of his friend. Her caramel brown hair had tamed and now floated lightly down her back and across her face. Her chocolate eyes scanned the pages of the book and her perfect hand took notes. She bit her bottom lip in concentration and hummed slightly. "You know," Harry said as he lightly pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and away from her face, "you really are beautiful."

Hermione's eyes tore away from the page to see Harry staring at her. He had gotten older and with age came the handsome qualities that manhood brings. His shaggy black hair hung just above his eyes, contrasting with the startling green that pooled there. He was tall, skinny, and altogether handsome. "I could say the same about you; just a little rewording would be required."

Harry smiled and without thinking leaned towards her. "Are you ever curious?"

She knew what he meant and she couldn't hold back the slight nod that she gave him. He leaned in gently, covered her lips with his in one gentle kiss. She sighed softly, her hand reaching up to play in his hair. He deepened the kiss, his tongue dueling with hers for control. She gave in and let him control the kiss, each one with their hand tangled in the other's hair. They broke away for air, both letting go of the other with a sigh. The tension filled the air as they both realized what had happened. Hermione was the first to speak. "We can't do this."

Harry looked up at her with lust filled eyes. "At the moment, I don't care." He said as leaned in again.

This time she pulled back and stood up. "Harry, we can't. First off, we are friends and everything would be ruined for something we aren't even sure exists between us. Second, it would really emotionally hurt Ron, which would break the pact." She sighed and sat back down, taking his hands in hers. "There's lust here Harry, because we are friends. But we will never have love, not the love that makes relationships. This ends now and we swear never to tell Ron."

"But that also breaks the pact. We promise we would always be honest and that we would always be able to talk to each other." Harry said, disappointment from her rejection clearly written on his face.

"This is an exception to the rule, Harry. If he knew, he'd hate us forever." Hermione sighed. "I fear that I will have to tell him the same thing soon. Each of us will always be friends, but not lovers. We can't be lovers without hurting someone."

Harry nodded and pulled her into a hug. "It can never be simple," he said quietly.


	3. A New Partnership

Chapter Three- A New Partnership

The Golden Trio had double potions with the Slytherins and walked slowly towards the dungeons with frowns on their faces. "What's worse than double potions with Slytherins early in the morning?" Ron asked as they reached the door to the dungeons.

Hermione smiled and pushed the door open. "What in the world?" All the students were standing up in the class and Snape was standing at the front of the room, a large smirk planted on his face. Hermione, Ron, and Harry went to stand next to Neville. "What is going on here?" Hermione asked Neville as they watched the last of the students come in.

"I don't know, but something tells me that it won't be good." Neville saw the Slytherins talking with each other; frowns and worry on their face. As the bell rang and Snape closed to door with his wand, Hermione started to wonder what was going on.

"All right," Snape said with a sneer, "we have a new policy that I have been told I must enforce. In order to help with inner-house unity," the Slytherins sighed and Snape sneered, "I am forced to assign a project that requires two partners. One must be a Gryffindor and one must be a Slytherin."

Hermione saw all her classmates groan and moan but she stayed quiet. _'This is actually a good idea. I wonder why Snape has decided to go along with it.' _Hermione raised her hand and Snape sneered at her.

"What Miss Granger?" Snape asked acidly.

"I was just wondering what we were going to do." Hermione said.

Snape smirked. "A potion Miss Granger, this is after all Potions class." The Slytherins snickered. "Each pair will be assigned by me and the potion they must complete. I will give no instructions; you must research the potion, brew it, and then bottle it and bring it to me. Each pair will be given a two week time period, except for one potion which requires double the amount of time. A schedule will be posted to work in the lab and you can also work in an empty classroom if so needed." Snape smirked. "Since Miss Granger decided to show some interest in this project, you will be the first to be paired up." Hermione didn't move or say anything. "You will be brewing Wolfsbane, a complicated potion that requires four weeks of work. It is a highly complicated potion so to unsure that you don't mess up and blow something up, your partner will be Mister Malfoy."

The whole Slytherin class stood shock, their mouths open wide to match the Gryffindors shocked expressions. The only two people who didn't move, who didn't talk, or who didn't even seem to be phased were Hermione and Malfoy. "Hermione, are you okay?" Ron whispered.

Hermione sighed. "I'm fine," she whispered. "It's just a school project, as long as we don't try to kill each other, we will be okay."

"I think that is the problem." Harry said as Snape started naming off other partners.


	4. A Truce

Chapter Four-A Truce

Hermione and Malfoy had been assigned the lab that night at 8 pm. Hermione secretly thought that Snape had put them together just to torture her, but when she went to the library to research the potion she realized why he had done it. Wolfsbane was a complicated potion that required the most advance skills in potions. She knew that she couldn't do this potion with anyone else in her class. She checked the books out and headed towards the dungeons. She pushed the door open and walked in. Malfoy was sitting on a couch he had conjured in the corner, writing notes as he read through a large book. Hermione sat at a desk nearby and pulled out her own books. They sat in silence, both of them leaning over their books and scribbling notes. After several minutes, Malfoy put his quill down and shut his book. "Granger," he said.

Hermione look up from her books to see Malfoy leaning back against the couch, his stuff all packed up. She frowned and looked at the clock. It was almost two in the morning and she began to pack her things up. "See you later Malfoy."

"Wait a minute Granger," Malfoy said as he stood up.

Hermione turned around slowly and her eyes widened as she saw that Malfoy was closer than she thought before. "If this is going to be a chance to piss me off, save it Malfoy. This night went relatively well and we managed to get some work done. Don't fuck it up now."

"Shut up Granger," Malfoy said. "As much as it pains me to be near you, we have to get along enough to do this project. And you know as well as I do that this potion is extremely hard. So let's call a truce, just in this room."

Hermione smiled as she remembered the last pact she made. She stepped closer to Malfoy and outstretched her hand. "Truce," she said.

Malfoy stared at her hand, "Fuck it," and took her hand and shook it.

Hermione let go and smiled. "Don't worry Malfoy; I'll keep my blood away from yours." She turned her back to him and missed the slight pain that crossed his face.


	5. It Has to be Love

A/N: I have been asked to make my chapters longer and I will. The first chapters went by fast. So now only one chapter a day hopefully.

Chapter Five- It has to be love

Hermione snuck back into the Common Room, only to see Harry sitting on the floor in front of the fire. Hermione threw her bag on the chair and sat in front of him. Without saying anything he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. She curled up in his lap and laid her head on his chest. "This potion is hard," Hermione said with a sigh.

"And Malfoy has nothing to do with it being so hard?" Harry said with a smile.

Hermione giggled. "Actually he and I made a pact the while we are alone we will at least be cordial."

Harry smiled, "Well that's nice." She felt her shift slightly and he turned her head so they were looking in each other's eyes. "Hermione…" he whispered.

She found his eyes filled with lust when he turned her to look at him. "Harry, we have a pact with Ron." She knew it was just lust, just the feeling of hopelessness that made them want each other. "We cannot do this."

Harry wasn't listening. He didn't care if it was against their pact and he didn't care if it was just the lost feeling in him that he wanted to fill. He just wanted to follow his groin instead of his head or heart. He leaned in a kissed her deeply. She melted into him and kissed him back. His hand fisted in her hair and he pulled her closer to him. His other hand ran down the side of her body and her breasts. "Hermione…" he moaned.

His words work Hermione up and she pulled away from him. "Harry, you don't love me."

"I do 'Mione," he said.

"No Harry, I mean you aren't in love with me. This isn't an attraction based on anything that you feel in your heart. We just feel hopeless and lost. I know it would be so simple if I could shut my mind off and just feel, but I can't." Hermione said with a sigh.

Harry frowned. "I know your right Hermione, but I just wish…"

She cut him off with a finger over his lips. She lightly brushed her lips against his cheek. "Harry, I love you very much. But I'm no more in love with you than you are with me. And I can't have sex for the first time with someone who isn't in love with me."

Harry nodded and pulled her back into his lap and arms. He wrapped her up in him and sighed as she laid her head on his chest. "I love you too Hermione. I'll control myself from now on."

X 

Hermione walked into the potions lab three days later with conflicted thoughts swimming in her head. She and Harry had not even told Ron anything about the two midnight events that left them kissing each other. And as much as she knew that it violated the pact she couldn't bring herself to tell Ron about the kisses. It was no secret that Ron had feelings for Hermione, although she had told him time and time again that they were just friends. If he knew that she had kissed Harry; that they had purposely hidden from him, he would be hurt. And Hermione knew she couldn't do that to him. She threw her books down at the desk, not even caring to see where Malfoy was sitting, and dragged a book out. She opened it to a random page and pretended to work as she contemplated her pact with Ron and Harry some more.

"Damn it Granger, are you even awake in there?" Malfoy's fist came slamming down on her desk, causing her to jump in her chair and stand with her wand ready and pointed at him. "Calm down girl, I didn't mean to scare you that much."

Hermione lowered her wand and finally put it away. "Sorry Malfoy, did you need something?"

"Yeah, I needed a partner that wasn't lost in space. What the fuck Granger?" Malfoy said, picking up the book she was reading. "I don't think you will find much about the potion in your Ancient Runes book."

A blush crept up on Hermione's face and she sat back down on the chair. "Sorry Malfoy, I have a lot on my mind. Do we have all the research to start the potion?"

"Not yet Granger and I wouldn't even let you near the potion at the moment. What the fuck is wrong with?" Malfoy said, sitting back on his conjured couch.

Hermione frowned, "Nothing that concerns you Malfoy." Hermione said and then she felt bad for her snappy tone. "It's complicated."

"Try me Granger, I promise not to tell a soul." Malfoy said with a smirk.

"I don't trust you," Hermione said.

Malfoy smiled and patted the couch next to him. Hermione got the hint and sat next to him. "I'll tell you what Granger. I will tell you one serious, monumental secret in exchange for you tell me what the fuck is wrong with you."

Hermione smiled. "You go first and if it's good enough I will tell you."

Malfoy smirked. "I'm a spy for Dumbledore. I turned to the light after my father was sent to prison. Snape trained me to block Voldemort and to take in information without looking obvious. That's why Snape paired us together, so I would have the chance to tell one of the Golden Trio about this."

Hermione knew she was staring at him, but she was too shocked to do anything else. Finally she processed what he said. "You're serious?" He nodded. "Well, I wasn't expecting that. I guess this means I have to tell you what's going on." She sighed. "I made a pact with Ron and Harry. The pact was to be friends forever and follow three rules. One was always being honest, two was always being able to talk to one another, and three was never doing anything to hurt another." Hermione felt all her guilt rush back. "But one night a couple of days ago, Harry and I were talking by the fire and he kissed me. I stopped him and told him that this would hurt Ron and that we couldn't do it. We decided that we shouldn't tell Ron, so we broke the pact. But it happened again, this time I told him how I really felt. I knew he wasn't in love with me and I didn't want this lust to make us think we were in love. I don't want to lose my virginity to someone not in love with me."

"What makes you think he isn't?" Malfoy said.

Hermione laughed, "Because I would know."

Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "Would you now Granger," he said and then walked away and out the door.

Hermione let her eyes linger to where he just left and frowned. What the hell was that about?


	6. Deal

Chapter Six-Deal

Hermione had spent all night convinced that there was an underlying meaning in what Malfoy said. She tossed and turned all night and when she finally did fall asleep her dreams were haunted with the memories of Harry and Malfoy. She woke up and felt tired. She regretted getting up for classes that morning, but she forced herself out of bed and got ready.

X 

Malfoy sighed as he got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He was lucky that he managed his own room this year, living with the other Slytherins would be too much for him. He had enough trouble blocking out Voldemort and putting up a façade when around his housemates, but he couldn't keep it up all the time. Even his partnership with Hermione was putting a strain on him. Snape had known that being with a Golden Trio member would be refreshing for him; however Hermione was not making it easy. Every time she walked in looking lost and confused, every time she shed her robe, or even when she concentrated Malfoy felt a pang of lust rush through him. And that stupid comment he had said to her before he left, what the hell was that about? He didn't even know what he was saying until it had left his mouth and know he regretted it. He shouldn't take an interest in her or her life. It would only bring him trouble.

X 

Hermione walked into the potion's room for the third time this week and she seemed a little off the moment she walked in the door. Malfoy couldn't help but see the worry in her eyes. "Something wrong Granger?"

"No, we should start the potion." She said quickly and sat down on the couch.

Malfoy turned, crossed his legs and faced her. "I'll ask Snape for an extension. I'll make up some bullshit and it will be okay. But I can't let you start brewing a potion when you are like this."

Hermione turned to look at him, noticed his position, and matched it. "When I am like what? There's nothing wrong with me."

Malfoy reached up and grazed her cheek with his fingertip. "You look sad."

It felt like he had burned a path down her cheek with his touch and she inhaled sharply. She didn't know what caused her reaction but it was unlike anything she'd ever expected. "I am. Aren't you?"

Malfoy smiled. For a minute he thought she would withdraw to his touch. "I don't get sad Granger."

Hermione mimicked his motion and ran her fingertip down his cheek. "You look sad," she whispered. "I won't tell anyone if you admit it."

Malfoy grabbed the hand she had on his cheek. "I admit that this spy thing wasn't exactly how I thought it would be. I thought that you three would see the change."

Hermione looked down at her hand as he held it. It felt comfortable to be near him and his shell seemed to be slipping around him. "I'm sorry they don't."

He let go of her hand and sighed. "What makes you sad Granger?"

"The obvious Malfoy, you know this war is hard on all of us. It's just the feeling I get when I wake up and don't know if today is the day that I will die." Hermione sighed. "It sounds stupid cause no one will ever know that, war or not, but I just feel so helpless sometimes."

Malfoy saw the tears forming in her eyes before they began to fall. "Don't cry Granger, it's not worth tears. Just make every minute worth living for or at least try to."

Hermione looked up at him and stared straight into his cool grey eyes. Without thinking she began to lean towards him, her eyes focused on his. She saw him lean towards her and soon the gap they had had was gone. Their lips touched and Hermione felt a jolt of some strange feeling run through her. She leaned back slightly and looked at him. "Malfoy…"

"Do you remember what I said yesterday? I basically asked you how can you tell if Harry was in love with you or not." She nodded and he kept talking. "I didn't just mean Harry, I meant in general. How can you tell if someone is in love with you, if you don't give them the chance to fall in love?"

"You don't need to have sex to fall in love." Hermione said in a whisper.

Malfoy smirked. "It doesn't hurt." He placed his hand on the back of her head and pulled her towards him. He captured her lips with his and kissed her deeply. She kissed him back, all the feelings she had swimming through her. He pushed her backwards slightly, until she was lying back on the couch. He never broke contact as they changed from sitting to lying down. As they pulled away for air, he looked down at her with a smile. "It doesn't always have to be black and white Granger."

Hermione saw lust in Malfoy's eyes and wondered if her own eyes showed the lust she felt. "If that's true, then what is the middle?"

"I could fall in love with you Granger, you know that right?" Malfoy said and then kissed her before she could respond.

She felt his hands move down her sides and back up again. He moved his mouth down, kissing and sucking her neck lightly. She let out a moan as he bit her softly and the shock caused him to stop. "What's wrong Malfoy, didn't think I would respond to your touch?"

He smirked and his eyes flashed with fire. "You haven't responded the way I want you to, at least not yet."

Surprise filled her eyes as his hands played with the hem of her shirt before he began to slowly pull it up. He kissed along the flesh he exposed until he reached her neck. He pulled her shirt off and kissed her lips again. She felt her hands pull his shirt up, as if she had no control over them. She ran her hands along his chest, then leaned up and trailed kissed up his chest and neck. She felt him shiver and smiled into his neck. "I want you to let go Malfoy, and be the person you truly are when you are with me."

"How do you know," he began as he pushed her down lightly and pinned her arms above her head, "if that's the person you want to see?"

Hermione smiled. "I know people Malfoy. If you let go, I'll let go."

He smirked and brought his lips back down to hers. "Deal."


End file.
